Sex and The Ex Politex (Part Deux)

Oh Anonz:  I’m surprised. You actually commented on something else that I wrote. :) Thanks as it gave me something to write about today. 

I think I need to be more clear. I was trying to be light in my write.  ZL got my point. I was using the term ’slept with’ very loosely…in regards to ‘relationships’. My article was basically about women getting jealous of their mans past ‘relationships’, not what the man said or didn’t say to his current significant. But hey, you took it down a different road – I can hang with that. You did bring up some very valid points and obviously there is a lot to be said here and some areas that need to be addressed.  So I will. 

You are absolutely correct. I agree a man should never tell. My statement:  ‘Now let me just preface that I really don’t think it is that stupid for a man to tell his significant other of past women that he has slept with, and especially women that he still has a friendly relationship with’ could’ve been worded to be more clear: ‘I really don’t think it is that stupid for a man to tell his significant other of past women that he was in relationships with’. (There should be no threat – the dirty deed has been done:) However, how he responds to her says it all. If she says, ’so, I hear you went out with her for awhile?’ He says it casually, like, ‘Yeah we went out for a few years, but it didn’t work.’ That’s cool. But if he says grinning, ‘Yeah, the sex was great but we fought a lot.’ Not cool.

I didn’t mean that it was okay for a man to go off in the mouth about all the women that he slept with to his now current love.  Nor was I referring to a man who is ‘implicitly crowing as his sexual conquests flutter around him in her presence.’ Nor was I talking about revealing such intimate details. Any of the above is very disrespectful and any guy who does this is a cad in my mind too.

I was referring to ‘committed relationships’ when I was speaking of ‘ex’s not just a one-nighter or a casual date.  I was speaking of a ‘relationship’ – I don’t call anyone I have slept with casually an ‘ex’.  I was referring to relationships where it was assumed that the two involved were sexually active. ZL’s party example echos that.  Have you not been in a committed relationship to know the difference between an ‘ex’ and a one-night-stand or do you call all of you sexual relationships ex’s? Maybe men do.  I don’t.  I was not referring to the man who says openly, ‘Yeah I fucked her.’  I was referring to the woman who is really asking a rhetorical question of her man,  or grilling him, or if none was asked, it was jealousy by association.  

I was referring to, as in my few cases, when a woman knows that I have been in a past relationship with her now present beau or husband and just decides that she doesn’t want me around anymore because we were in a relationship.  She may not have asked him anything about us. Or knowing we were in a sexual relationship, she may have railed him with questions such as I mentioned which I would hope that he would say, ‘It is none of your business.’ Again, I was using the term ’slept with’ very loosely…in regards to ‘relationships’.  Maybe, I should’ve been clearer.  Or maybe you were just dying to broach the topic on a different level than I was referring to. Either way, I’ll carry on. 

I don’t mean that he literally said to her that he ’slept with me.’  I hope  that he didn’t just openly volunteer that information whether she asked or not.  In my circumstances, to my knowledge,  I had only one male friend who did tell the woman that he was marrying that we had slept together.  I asked him why she wasn’t that friendly to me and he told me that she knew we slept together.  Perturbed, I asked him why he  brought that up and he said because she asked, and he didn’t want to lie.  Well…ya know sometimes a little lie is the much better than the truth.  He obviously wanted to get a reaction out of her and make himself feel good like, “Yeah, I had her.” And really, I wasn’t so sure that she asked; that he just didn’t volunteer the info to do just that. And however he informed her, either way, I was no longer friends with him after that and their marriage sadly but not surprisingly didn’t last very long.  Had I known any of my male friends were revealing anything intimate about me, I would’ve ended those relationship too, but their significant other did it for me. 

Lastly, yes I do have to agree that a man who reveals to his current significant other about other women is not only disrespectful to the woman, unless she okays it.  But if she doesn’t, I realize it can be very damaging to the woman in his current relationship. I can attest to this because I was a very jealous woman in a relationship that I had and rightfully so. He never informed me of women that he had slept with prior to me, but his ‘implicitly crowing’ left  me insecure and jealous all of the time. And the women weren’t ’smilingly fluttering’ around him. Except for one, his best female friend who swore for years that my jealousy was misdirected. I believed her but found out later my jealous feelings were valid. But besides her, it was his doing, his actions, that gave me the feeling that I was never enough. Thankfully, I don’t own those stupid insecure thoughts anymore. But believe me it took me years to get over them. 

FYI:  I think that your male chauvinistic side is showing. I wouldn’t dare give you advice but you might think of how this woman feels when you say, ”She just may not like being part of her cad’s mental harem as ‘you smilingly flutter’ around him.” First of all, I don’t like that you assume that my presence is a flirtatious one.  That I am the cause of the threat because of some action that you presume I am doing or worse just because of the way I look.  Sounds similar to the man who rapes the woman because she was wearing something revealing. ‘It was her fault,’ he claims, ‘She shouldn’t have tempted me.’ Well I’m not a threat just because I happen to be attractive.  ’Blame it on the pretty girl!’

That being said, I don’t ’smilingly flutter’ around my ex’s. In fact I don’t ’smilingly flutter’ period. I respect relationships and in no way do I ever try to make an ex’s significant other feel uncomfortable in my presence in any way. And if I know that he has a jealous significant other, I try my best to not add to her insecurity. Maybe because I can relate and I didn’t like it when I was in that position. If she is threatened most likely it is from his actions or something from the past,  not mine. So please don’t include me in the cad’s bad manners.

Okay, now I’m done. Thanks for bringing this up Anonz.  It, like sex, is a topic that was worth diving deeper into.  

Readers:  It isn’t that simple. Do you think that all jealousy stems from somewhere?  Do women and men feel jealous because of something in their past or can people feel jealousy when nothing to be jealous of is present?   Comments? Blog me. 

Doug: You had me laughing. Please don’t reveal our little secrets of me pretending you were my first…oops did I say that? :) 

Oh…I just have to add one last thing: Ellen DeGeneres who is a big animal lover, will be talking about Prop 2 today on her show! Tune in wherever you live.  See ya….

Gratefully your blog host,

michelle ♥

Aka BABE: Your Bad Ass Bitch Editor

For archives dated before January 17, 2008 click on my Blogroll:

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Sex and The Ex Politex

When the seriousness of politics starts to invade my life and I internalize it, its time for a sex break.  And I don’t mean the act, although that certainly is a release but not what I am about to talk about this morning.

I was talking to a girlfriend the other day who had just thrown her ex-boyfriend from many years ago a 60th birthday party.  How sweet I thought. She went on to say that she is friends with most of her ex’s…that their ‘break-ups’ never lead to animosity and that over the years they even became close friends. Hmm…’not me’, I thought. I don’t speak to any of my ex’s anymore, not one.  

Okay, well maybe one or two, if you count pre-sex boyfriends from 2nd and 7th grade.  Every so often if I run into one of them, we’ll have chat and then not speak for another 10 years. I don’t exactly call that a relationship. Oh but I did get a phone call from a high school beau about 6 months ago. We talked like no time had come between us but in reality it had been at least 10 years and it’ll probably be another 10 till we talk again. It’s not that the relationships ended  badly, we just moved on. 

And the ones that I did keep in touch with…well…after they got into a serious relationship that turned into marriage, poof!…they disappeared out of my life.  Which brings me to my topic for today, ‘Sex and The Ex Politex’.  

There were several men in my life that I dated and in my later years and after we decided to ‘just be friends’, all was great until they got into another relationship and the ‘girlfriend’ or ‘wife to be’ started attaching that ball and chain, and unfortunately they  obliged. Yuck. Our relationships slowly dwindled. Why? Well some of these men were stupid enough to tell their girlfriends/wife-to be’s that they had slept with me.  

Now let me just preface that I really don’t think it is that stupid for a man to tell his significant other of past women that he has slept with, and especially women that he still has a friendly relationship with.  But….and this is a big BUT, if  you’re significant other is the jealous type and you feel her reeling you in and preventing you from engaging in your women friendships, then don’t tell her that you slept with me. Big mistake.  

However, if you think logically like I do, the question arises: Why  would a woman feel threatened by women who have already slept with her man?   I just don’t get it. I mean the mystery is gone. He’s seen her naked and  he’s had sex with her.  The relationship didn’t work out for whatever reason otherwise they would still be together. The fact that they aren’t says something. To me she would be no threat. 

But for some reason women  aren’t logical when it comes to sex and the ex. They visualize their man having sex with their ex and they become obsessed with thought. Is she better? Is she prettier than me? Does she give better head? :) All ego based questions that really mean nothing but the mind will make them into something huge. The mind will make sex, the act, bigger than anything, even the relationship. Not good. Therefore the woman throws on the ol ball and chain, limits access to his women friends to little or none, and feels that her relationship is protected from the past. Ah, okay.

Oh but what about the future? In my mind, if you’re going to feel threatened be threatened by the women out there he hasn’t slept with. They are more of a threat to your relationship than the ones he has slept with.  The curiosity, the mystery is still there.  Hmmm….Well that would mean most of the women in the world.  Oh…a woman doesn’t want to go down that road.  That is just too much to think about. I guess it’s a lot easier to become obsessed with the  past than to worry about the future.  Although some women become obsessed about both. Oooh not good.

Me? No thanks. I choose neither.  Obsessing in useless and ego based thoughts of the past or worry of the future is a waste of time.  I prefer the act…now that is worth indulging in.

Readers: Any sex politex you want to share? Blog me. 

 

Gratefully your blog host,

michelle ♥

Aka BABE: Your Bad Ass Bitch Editor

For archives dated before January 17, 2008 click on my Blogroll:

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Tuesday Talk

We’ve been talking politico a lot on this blog, giving it more time than I thought I ever would. Most of it has been in regards to the candidates, and of course we’ve been enlightened in many ways to say the least , but there are other things keeping my mind occupied these days too.  

I’ve talked about my passion for the animals many times. The livelihood of animals is always on the forefront of my mind and although I haven’t been so verbal here lately, I have been busy.  Last weekend I worked the farmers market informing people about Prop 2.  And last night,  I donated a couple of hours, ( and volunteered Doug too: ) making phone calls at the Democratic office downtown confirming voters support of Obama and the democratic party, and informing them on Prop 2.  And lastly, ending the call with the voters confirming that they will vote Yes on Prop 2.  It’s a California thing, but an important one.

So what is Prop 2? Prop 2 is simply a very modest measure to ensure that farm animals are treated humanly by giving them more room to stretch their legs, turn around, lie down, or spread their wings. Simple, and really not much to ask for. Thankfully everyone I spoke to thought the same. It felt good to give my time to something that is important to me.

I don’t have much time this morning to elaborate but I promise it won’t be the last time that I bring this up.  

I just have to add before I sign off, that waking up this morning and reading the comments between anonz and Tom…well I am not sure what to say. Doug and I talked briefly this morning. I don’t know what is worse…getting fucked, not knowing what and how it is happening or how to prevent it….or getting fucked and having a play by play account of it all and still not know how to prevent it.  Ignorance is bliss but I think I’ll choose the latter.  

The image of a game board comes to my mind.  This world is really just a big game board and the name of the game is ‘life’.  The prize, the motivating factor, is money and the overwhelming desire to attain as much of it as one can. There are a few major players, (the bills) and the rest, well the rest, are just insignificant in the big picture of it all.  Sure, they players need to get as many insigs as they can on their team but really they are just pawns to play with and use as they see fit. The one with the most money wins. The funny thing is, is that the game never ends because no amount of money is ever enough. And the game continues…

Readers: As always, feel free to comment. I’m outta here…

Gratefully your blog host,

michelle ♥

Aka BABE: Your Bad Ass Bitch Editor

For archives dated before January 17, 2008 click on my Blogroll:

or click here: “A Day in the life of…”

All content on this site are property of Michelle Moquin © copyright 2008

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Can you be open enough to see beyond your wildest imagination? Will you allow yourself?

Good Morning.

Wow – I am blown away by your story Maya. For you this must’ve been especially amazing. What am I saying?!…For ANYONE…this would be as you said, ’stunning’.  We have all been told by the aliens on my blog  that religion was a myth made up for humans to keep us in line so to speak. That without religion we would pretty much be more greedy and more barbaric to each other and that because of the ‘fear of God’ many ‘behave’ just that much more kind to each other…if you can call this world ‘kind’. 

Hmmm…I find it quite amusing that dear Elijah wished he had taken on that ‘job’ of Jesus. I wish that I was with you Girls to experience this fascinating planet Jehu and to sip wine with Elijah. (Girlz to be: A test was given. No one wrote in to acknowledge the test.) Please tell him if you visit again that I would be delighted to meet him too.  I love those with a great sense of humor, and he obviously has one.  

Still…I am curious as to where Jesus is residing now. Perhaps a trip there sometime?  

Hi Courtney:  Not sure if you were talking about my article or Maya’s story but either way happy that you read what you needed to hear. 

Hello Barbara:  Open your mind. Is it not possible for there to be other life forms other than us humans?  To me that is not a difficult thing to imagine let alone be a reality. To me strong female role models are women who aren’t trapped by what society expects or pinned to any ideology. A strong female role model doesn’t close her mind to those things that can not be proven, but looks past the obvious and sees the possibilities of what is not seen. I am open and boundless with my imagination, my thoughts…etc., and if I can inspire women, or men to being more open and courageous in their thinking, to see another side and not be so heavily influenced by what society imparts on them…to have a mind of their own, then I am happy to be a role model if that is what I am seen as.  But don’t expect me to be a role model strictly under the definition of your role model. 

I think Shelly was talking to you and I have to agree with her words, as I have said them before….’If it bothers you don’t read it’. And I will add, “Read what you like, what inspires you, but I might also suggest to try to be open to the possibilities of other worldly existence.  You certainly can not prove that there isn’t. Obviously you have been reading here for a while and you keep coming back.  There’s a reason for this. You might learn something valuable about yourself if you can expand your mind. :) Will you allow yourself?

Hey Charles: No, all men aren’t bad and no one is saying they are. You do have company :)

Hello Anon:  I’m not sure why you are reading this shit – why are you? And by the way ’sacred’ to me is a term that is different for everyone…What is sacred to one may not be sacred to another. No one is insulting religion; just giving another viewpoint. If you don’t like it, there are plenty of other blogs that will identify with your religion. Bit if you want something to shake up your world, give you another viewpoint, expand your mind, then stick around. 

Hi Tony:  I’m sure you’ve heard of the ‘boys club’…well, for once in this world, this is  the ‘girls club’. Sorry, no one with a head between their legs is allowed. :-P

Hi Annie:  The girls are picked if they state an interest in going. Simple as that. We had a ‘call’ awhile ago but I am sure that there is room for more. You can try emailing me but it is my instinct that Tal will be reading this and he will get ahold of you. 

Hi Yuki:  To my knowledge there are girls from all over the world up in space now. If you would like to be considered, I am assuming you are asking, yes? Then, I am pretty sure you will be contacted. 

Hello women of Cambodia! Thank you for the ‘love’.

Hi Umeyo:  Would you like to be a girl too? 女の子であるのを好むもか。

 

Running late…got to sign off. As always…

Gratefully your blog host,

michelle ♥

Aka BABE: Your Bad Ass Bitch Editor

For archives dated before January 17, 2008 click on my Blogroll:

or click here: “A Day in the life of…”

All content on this site are property of Michelle Moquin © copyright 2008

" Politics, god, Life, News, Music, Family, Personal, Travel, Random, Photography, Religion, Aliens, Art, Entertainment, Food, Books, Thoughts, Media, Culture, Love, Sex, Poetry, Prose, Friends, Technology, Humor, Health, Writing, Events, Movies, Sports, Video, Christianity, Atheist, Blogging, History, Work, Education, Business, Fashion, Barack Obama, People, Internet, Relationships, Faith, Photos, Videos, Hillary Clinton, School, Reviews, God, TV, Philosophy, Fun, Science, Environment, Design, The Page, Rants, Pictures, Church, Blog, Nature, Marketing, Television, Democrats, Parenting, Miscellaneous, Current Events, Film, Spirituality, Obama, Musings, Home, Human Rights, Society, Comedy, Me, Random Thoughts, Research, Government, Election 2008, Baseball, Opinion, Recipes, Children, Iraq, Funny, Women, Economics, America, Misc, Commentary, John McCain, Reflections, All, Celebrities, Inspiration, Lifestyle, Theology, Linux, Kids, Games, World, India, Literature, China, Ramblings, Fitness, Money, Review, War, Articles, Economy, Journal, Quotes, NBA, Crime, Anime, Islam, 2008, Stories, Prayer, Diary, Jesus, Buddha, Muslim, Israel, Europe, Links, Marriage, Fiction, American Idol, Software, Leadership, Pop culture, Rants, Video Games, Republicans, Updates, Political, Football, Healing, Blogs, Shopping, USA, Class, Matrix, Course, Work, Web 2.0, My Life, Psychology, Gay, Happiness, Advertising, Field Hockey, Hip-hop, sex, fucking, ass, Soccer, sox"

Women against Sarah Palin

I’m just going to roll with it again today. I got blasted with the below email from girlfriends and I just had to pass it along.  I figure if I am getting an email this many times from women who aren’t even connected to each other then something big must be going on.  Here’s the email:

Friends, compatriots, fellow-lamenters,

We are writing to you because of the fury and dread we have felt since the announcement of Sarah Palin as the Vice-Presidential candidate for the Republican Party. We believe that this terrible decision has surpassed mere partisanship, and that it is a dangerous farce on the part of a pandering and rudderless Presidential candidate that has a real possibility of becoming fact.

Perhaps like us, as American women, you share the fear of what Ms. Palin and her professed beliefs and proven record could lead to for ourselves and for our present or future daughters. To date, she is against sex education, birth control, the pro-choice platform, environmental protection, alternative energy development, freedom of speech (as mayor she wanted to ban books and attempted to fire the librarian who stood against her), gun control, the separation of church and state, and polar bears. To say nothing of her complete lack of real preparation to become the second-most-powerful person on the planet.

We want to clarify that we are not against Sarah Palin as a woman, a mother, or, for that matter, a parent of a pregnant teenager, but solely as a rash, incompetent, and altogether devastating choice for Vice President. Ms. Palin’s political views are in every way a slap in the face to the accomplishments that our mothers and grandmothers and great-grandmothers so fiercely fought for, and that we’ve so demonstrably benefited from.

First and foremost, Ms. Palin does not represent us. She does not demonstrate or uphold our interests as American women. It is presumed that the inclusion of a woman on the Republican ticket could win over women voters. We want to disagree, publicly.

Therefore, we invite you to reply here mail to:womensaynopalin@gmail.com with a short, succinct message about why you, as a woman living in this country, do not support this candidate as second-in-command for our nation. Please include your name (last initial is fine), age, and place of residence.

We will post your responses on a blog called “Women Against Sarah Palin,” which we intend to publicize as widely as possible. Please send us your reply at your earliest convenience.  The greater the volume of responses we receive, the stronger our message will be.

Thank you for your time and action.

VIVA!

Sincerely,

Quinn Latimer and Lyra Kilston
New York, NY
womensaynopalin@gmail.com mailto:womensaynopalin@gmail.com

**PLEASE FORWARD WIDELY! If you send this to 20 women in the next hour, you could be blessed with a country that takes your concerns seriously. Stranger things have happened.

Thoughts?

What I like about this letter is that it is so right on. It expresses what I feel and obviously what so many other women feel.  I’m not a mother nor do I plan to be one but that doesn’t mean that I don’t care about my rights as a woman.  You all have heard me bitch about this enough to know my thoughts on this. So ‘It isn’t anything personal Sarah Palin, although personally I would like to slap you in the face. After all that is what you are doing to the women who fought so hard for our rights that we have today.’

Like I said in the past, and I don’t mind repeating myself: Do the republicans think that just because Palin is a woman that any woman will do? How insulting.  Now, I know I have said before when many of you thought that Hillary wasn’t the right woman to run the country, that Hillary, although a qualified woman, certainly couldn’t do any worse than any man we’ve elected.  Let’s give her a chance to prove herself. We’ve let lesser men run this country, including our current President. And many of my girlfriends still said no. But this woman, this Palin, she is like Bush in a woman’s body. Forget about a pit bull wearing lipstick…she’s Bush in drag….and looking pretty good. Take out the ‘L’ in Palin and she could be a huge ‘Pain’. How can women in their right mind even consider her?!

So if you want to give your two, email these girls. I wish that the email had included the blog address but it didn’t,  so I decided to take a chance and google ‘Women against Sarah Palin’. And to my surprise there were quite a few websites/blogs that had varying names: ‘Women against Sarah Palin’, ’Women against Palin’  Wow, people, especially women (no surprise) are really not liking this woman. With a little bit more perseverance I did finally find the blog where this original letter came from.

I will add that after reading a few readers comments, a post was made on the blog on the 8th, addressing corrections that Quinn and Lyra had made in the letter. In all fairness, I wanted to also include it also in my post today:

Dear readers,            

Because we are disgusted and disheartened by the smear-campaigns, exaggerations, and outright lies that are so prevalent in our political landscape, we want to clarify two facts that we got wrong.

In our initial letter, sent out on Wednesday night, we stated that Governor Palin fired the librarian in Wasilla. In fact, while she did send the librarian a termination letter, after great public dissent (i.e. community organizing), she retracted it.

Secondly, Ms. Palin is not anti-birth control. She is a member of FFI, Feminists for Life, an anti-abortion, pro-birth control organization.

We apologize.

Unfortunately, during her speech at the Republican Convention last week, Ms. Palin read from a script that contained many egregious falsehoods about her opponent’s record, intentions, and policies. We hope that she too (or her scriptwriters at any rate) might have the integrity to come forward and admit their errors.

But we won’t hold our breath.

Lyra & Quinn

 

Lastly, this original letter was sent to 40 women on September 3rd and by yesterday, the girls above claim they have received more than 40,000 responses – way to go!  I have yet to email my thoughts but I will – how about you?    

 ***********

Hello Earthlings: Keep the stories coming. I love reading about your adventures. Miki: The romance continues…I find it fascinating. If you hear anything more, please come back and share. Thanks. 

Hey ZL: You have my permission. 

Gotta run…

Gratefully your blog host,

michelle ♥

Aka BABE: Your Bad Ass Bitch Editor

For archives dated before January 17, 2008 click on my Blogroll:

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